An Acceptable Silence

I went and got a massage yesterday because a local chain was having a big breast cancer research benefit day and because I decided I deserved a treat. And as I was laying there, I realized that this was one of the few social situations in which it is acceptable to not talk to the other person. There was silence but no social need to fill it. That's something that's pretty rare these days. Especially in the realm of personal services.

Baristas? Cashiers at the grocery store? Wait staff? All of them will chat at least a little bit. And it's expected that they do. You go to the dentist? They try to chat with you even as they stick fingers in your mouth. Going to get a haircut? Don't get me started. They go for your whole life story.

Part of it is that it's expected by service sorts of employees. But part of it is that people feel awkward spending time together and not talking. Especially those longer exchanges, like a haircut. They're talking to fill the time, to fill the silence.

In a massage, though, you're supposed to be relaxing. They play soothing music. But it still feels a little uncomfortable to not talk to the masseuse. I don't like talking to people that I don't really know for more than a couple minutes, even if they are cutting my hair. But I still felt a little weird about not trying to converse during my massage.